FAQs
- Can I afford to go to college?
Many young people thinking about going on to further education worry about this. Depending on your family income, grants are available from your local Education Board to help with fees and living expenses.
- I feel that I can’t show people how I feel as I am now the man of the house and have to be strong for my mum, younger sisters and brother.
No child or young person should feel that they have to be an adult but sometimes grown ups don’t realise that this is how you feel. You need to talk about your difficult feelings and cry if you need to cry. You can talk to someone you trust about your feelings.
- I feel guilty when I am enjoying myself, and angry with my friends for not having to feel this way.
Many people feel guilty for laughing and enjoying themselves after someone has died, but you cannot be sad all of the time and need to have time out from painful feelings. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them and they wouldn’t want you to feel guilty or stop having fun. You may sometimes feel angry with friends who have not lost someone close to them the way you have and it can be normal to feel this way. Just remember this isn’t their fault, and try to work through these feelings in a safe and healthy way, talk to someone you trust.
- I feel so sad all the time; will I always feel like this?
No, over time you will begin to feel better, this doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the person who has died or that you have forgotten them. A time will come when you will be able to remember them and the happy times you had together without feeling so sad. You don’t have to go through this sadness all alone, if you don’t feel you can talk to someone in the family there are many organisations that are experts in helping people when someone important to them has died. Contacts for these organisations can be found on the links page.
- I feel angry with my mum for dying and leaving me, why do I feel this way?
It is normal to feel angry when a parent or another important person has died. It is important to talk to someone you trust about your feelings and to find a safe healthy way of managing difficult feelings, for example playing a sport, take up trampolining or even hitting a pillow!
- I’m afraid that I won’t remember them, as time goes by, is there anything I can do to help me remember?
Yes, there are lots of things that you can do that will help you remember them. Memory boxes are a good way of doing this. Collect photographs, birthday cards, may be you have a small present that the person who has died has given you, or a little something that was special to the person. You might even want to include a pressed flower that was their favourite kind or a pebble from a beach where you shared a walk. Anything that has a special meaning for you and the person that died can go in the memory box. Or even a memory book that you can put in photographs and write your favourite memories of the person in is a good idea. You could also talk to others and write down their memories of the person as well. These are both good ways of storing your memories that you can use to help you look back and remember.
- I was always arguing with my dad before he got sick, is it my fault?
Most teenagers argue with their parents, it’s a normal part of growing up. It is never anyone’s fault, and nothing anyone can say or do good or bad can cause cancer
in another person.
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